Yep, that's me......the last few days I've been all alone contemplating life and dispensing free wisdom.

The last three weeks were jammed packed with travel, fun, adventure, food, the beach, relatives, and best of all our grand daughter. I ate too much, played too much, rode too much, and hobbled around on my crutches too much. I knew" the too much"now, would soon be "not nearly enough". So a whole year of hugs, laughter, pictures, and memories had to be captured, preserved and stored for easy recall on days when longing over comes reason, and loneliness can only be lifted by a reflection of a sweet laughing face that lit up whenever I came into the room.

My thoughts now turn to what awaits me in the near future. Right now there are more questions than answers. Discussions turn to outcome, rehab, risks, possibilities, legalities, and the long road back to normal. I do think Patsy Clairemont had it right all along...."Normal is only a setting on the Dryer."

I miss having legs that do what you tell them to do without buckling. I miss the ability to hop out of bed in the middle of the night with my only thought of getting to the bathroom (not where are my crutches, and immobilizer). I miss being able to put my own shoes and sock on (who knew?) I miss the ability to carry anything ( hard to do when you are carrying yourself on two sticks). I miss working in my garden (Mr. Wonderful drove me to the back yard in the car to view it!) I miss the rhythm and flow of life.....right now it seems I just get to observe it from the sidelines.

For now, I'm simply trying to be content. In my heart of heart I know that there is a reason for "this time out" but I haven't been able to come up with an answer that satisfies my soul yet. My prayer life has greatly increased as well as my gratitude quotient. Who knew that being still before God would take such intense effort.

Labels: wisdom

Just talked to brand new mommy who sounds incredibly tired and it brought back many memories I had as a first time momma far away from my family.

I love this picture as it looks like my daughter and her daughter are already sharing secrets!
I wonder if they are sharing a joke or two or perhaps Emma is already asking questions about world affairs and what the political situation is all about (my granddaughter is brilliant, we all know that!)

Whatever their conversation,they both looked really engaged in the discussion.

One thing that I remember as a new mommy is that I suddenly didn't exist any more. The world revolved around this new life and everyone was enchanted by our beautiful baby. Every conversation was about her, every one wanted to hold her, and I suddenly was an extension of her.

I remember running into friends at the grocery store a few weeks after her birth. The lady greeted me enthusiastically by saying, "How's Daisy this morning?" I was thrilled that someone had actually acknowledged me and was concerned about me! I responded , "I'm fine thank you and Becky is too."

"Oh, " she said, "I meant Becky not you".

Talk about having cold water thrown in your face! I missed being pampered and having someone to fetch and tote for me. I missed having someone tell me to sit down and put my feet up. I missed having someone fix the meals, wash the diapers and mostly I missed sleeping. I was so afraid that I wouldn't hear her cry even though she was in the bassinet next to our bed I barely closed my eyes.

Don't get me wrong, Mr. Wonderful did his best,but he would wake me during the night and say, "The baby needs you. I'd take care of her, but you know I'm not plumbed the right way." Then he would turn over and be snoring before my feet ever hit the floor.

As a first time momma I was as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I did have a good friend and mentor who could always calm me down and would teach me what she called "old Indian tricks, that might help but definitely wouldn't hurt ".

So my darling daughter,take good care of you. Sleep when she sleeps, let Daddy take turns rocking and walking the floor. Close those big brown beautiful eyes of yours and sleep deeply so you can wake refreshed and ready for the challenges of motherhood. Taking care of you is the best way to take care of Emma.

Labels: Becky, Emma, wisdom

Yesterday I had an appointment with my friendly dentist to have a wisdom tooth removed. (yes, I still have mine!)

I am of the persuasion of "If they don't bother me, I won't bother them". I've been told for years that I should get them out which meant a trip to the oral surgeon and big bucks if you don't have dental insurance.

Last year I had one removed that had completely come through the gum and even had a cavity. It came out rather easily despite my internal trauma, anxiety and hyperventilating. Some of my anxiety came from my dentist who casually mentioned that he was 75% sure he could remove it . What? I want him to be 100% sure before he starts yanking anything out of my mouth!

This wisdom tooth had partially come through the gum and was coming in sideways. After looking at the xray Alan (my dentist) says casually "I can yank that puppy out.....how bout after Christmas?"

Since this exchange happened two weeks before Christmas and I truly never thought the date would ever arrive I said " Sure!"

Yesterday was the day of reckoning! Mr. Wonderful drove me and was there to hold my hand and let me squeeze his. Talk about anxiety attack! Needless to say this dentist was well prayed up and certainly had Divine intervention. This tooth was an upper moler so the sound of chipping and pressure though not painful, was distressing to this already distressed girl!

The tooth came out and I lived through the experience but it hasn't done anything to relieve my fear of going to the dentist! Wikipedia search on wisdom teeth says, " They are generally thought to be called wisdom teeth because they appear so late—much later than the other teeth, at an age where people are supposedly wiser than as a child, when the other teeth erupt. "

So maybe I'm not as wise as I thought as I still get very childish at the thought of going to the dentist!

Labels: dentist, wisdom

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will always stay with me long after any physical healing has occurred.

OK, so it doesn't rhyme! But if the truth be known words are more hurtful and tend to form your self image. Today in a conversation with Mr. Wonderful , I remembered the frustration of my dad trying to teach me a math concept that I couldn't master. He tried many different ways to explain and even used coins to help visualize the concept without any "light bulb" moment of insight on my part.

Finally in a moment of sheer exasperation he said, " Well, I guess you'll just be in the third grade for the rest of your life!" I adored my dad and unbelievably these are the words I still remember some 50 years later despite having a college degree and being a health care professional.

Recently my son received some hurtful words from a family member. They were words from a person who has had very little input into his life and quite frankly doesn't know him well enough to correct his behavior. He was hurt and surprised as they came in the form of a Christmas card (so much for peace on earth and good will toward men!)

Being a preacher's wife, I have been blessed with having a short memory and thick skin. The Lord has removed a lot of stinging comments from my memory and fortunately I rarely know when I'm insulted. I don't look for insults (who wouldn't want to be my friend?) don't expect insults (I expect the best out of everyone) and have come up with the following criteria for handling insults.

1. Is there any truth to what the person has said?
2. Have I been thoughtless or careless with my words?
3. Have I carelessly joked or teased about an issue that is sensitive to that person?
4. Consider the source of the complaint? Is this someone who is significant in my life? Is this someone who has earned the right to speak into my life?

Now I have a new problem....over zealous protectors. Some times when I choose to extend grace in a situation I have friends and family who pick up the gauntlet and try to defend me. I'm hoping this is the situation that occurred with my son but I will let some time pass to defuse the bomb and confront the offender quietly, personally and face to face.

Daisy Dilemma: How do you handle conflict? Do you drop the bomb and run or do you enjoy confrontation?

Labels: Dad, Monday memories, wisdom, words