Friday, April 24, 2009


AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES*


1.Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.


2.Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.


3.For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer..


4.A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5.If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.


6.You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD -40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7.Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

8.If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 7:18 AM | 6 comments
Thursday, April 09, 2009

Mr. Wonderful and I are off to see out kids and grandson Oscar today. These cute little bottoms remind us of our cute bottom boy. Say a prayer for us while we are on the road.


ALL I NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LIFE I LEARNED FROM THE EASTER BUNNY

Don't put all of your eggs in one basket

Walk softly and carry a big carrot

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears

There's no such thing as too much candy

All work and no play can make you a basket case

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits

Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans

Good things come in small sugarcoated packages

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare

To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 3:48 PM | 5 comments
Friday, March 14, 2008

EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER

You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.

Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.

Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.

A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.

Sponges are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain water.

A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting hit on.

A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

A Hammer
is Male , because it hasn't changed much over the last 5,000 years,
but it's handy to have around

A Remote Control
is Female. Ha! You thought it'd be male , didn't you?
But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it,
and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying!

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 11:36 AM | 6 comments
Friday, December 28, 2007
According to new information...the name Emma was number 3 on a list of top 10 girl names.

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Friday, December 14, 2007

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Friday, November 30, 2007

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Friday, November 16, 2007
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Friday, November 09, 2007

Are you feeling tense? Take this quick test (Try not to chew the pencil!!) to find out.

1. The following is a list of stress-related symptoms. Check off all that apply.

a. You consider Rolaids a pizza topping.
b. During your last doctor's exam, the bp cuff exploded.
c. There are teeth marks on your steering wheel.
d. The picture to the left is your actual drivers license photo.
e. Your "last straw" was several bales ago.

2. Over stressed people sometimes are short tempered have you found other people:

a. Have put warning flares around your desk.
b. Suddenly disappear when you walk down the hall.
c. Holler "There she blows" when they see you.
d. Suddenly decided to take the stairs when you enter the elevator.
e. Wear a hard hat and ear protectors when putting a report on your desk.

3. A too busy schedule can result in too much stress. Are you so busy that:

a. You use Lee-Press on clothes.
b. You eat your Lean Cuisine frozen.
c. You have time only for 5 items on Letterman's Top Ten List.
d. You go to work wearing your bathrobe and fuzzy slippers.
e. You forget to pick up your child from day care.

4. How many of these stress management books do you actually own?

a. Women Who Run with Wolves, Run from Wolves and Clean Up After Wolves.
b. Men Are From Mars; Who Cares?
c. How To Make Friends and Influences ( Who has the time or energy?)
d. All I Really Need to Know about Stress I learned in Kindergarten.
e. The Golden Parachute ( Has yours turned to Lead?)

5. Too much stress can lower your resistance to life's little annoyances. Which of the following would push your stress button.

a. You finish your 10th glass of water only to find that ladies' room is out of order.
b. You can't get a hold of your true friends (Ben and Jerry, Sara Lee, and Little Debbie!)
c. You accidentally put cream rinse in your coffee instead of coffee creamer.
d. Your husband doesn't answer quickly enough when you ask if another woman is looking better than you.
e. You start to watch the movie "Thelma and Louise" and everyone in your home says to you, "You know they die in the end don't ya?"

6. Over stressed people don't take time to smell the roses. Which of the following do you miss the most?

a. Adult conversation.
b. Long lunches (Actually chewing your food does not count as a long lunch!)
c. Vacations (The incident of run-away-mothers is increasing all the time!)
d. Taking a bubble bath. (Although while washing dishes you occasionally put your elbows in the soapy water and pretend.
e. Going to the movies (The last grown-up film you saw was Titanic. It had something to do with a boat and jewelry.)

YOUR SCORE: If you actually took this test, you're definitely over stressed. Hope you got a giggle from this....just remember that laughter can help you gain perspective and de-stress your life.

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 9:37 AM | 7 comments
Friday, October 05, 2007
Friday Funny!



Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you look forward to your birthday?

Ohhh! I love celebrations of any kind...make me the star and I'll shine every time! I'll take a 10 please! Usually my birthday means I can get to choose what I want to do.....the last four years we have been at the National Missionary Conference so it has been just another day!


Soup
What is one word you don’t like the sound, spelling, or meaning of? Obesity....I don't like the sound of it, it's implications or the attitudes it generates.

Salad
Do you wear sunglasses when you’re outside? If so, what does your current pair look like?

I wear clip on sunglasses over my glasses....I know super nerd lives!

Main Course
If you were to write a book, to whom would you dedicate it?

My friends and family (since they are the ones that always suggest it!)

Dessert
Name a beverage that you enjoy.

I totally love Crystal Light Raspberry Lemonade .

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 8:28 AM | 8 comments
Friday, September 21, 2007

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Friday, August 31, 2007

Wow! Where do go to sign up?

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Friday, February 16, 2007

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Friday, January 26, 2007
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Monday, January 22, 2007
It was fun being a baby boomer....until now.
Some of the artists of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate the Baby Boomers.

1. Herman's Hermits--- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker.

2. The Bee Gees--- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip.

3. Bobby Darin--- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash.

4. Ringo Starr--- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends.

5. Roberta Flack--- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face.

6. Johnny Nash--- I Can't See Clearly Now.

7. Paul Simon--- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
8. The Commodores--- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom.

9. Marvin Gaye--- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts.

10. Procol Harem--- A Whiter Shade of Hair.

11. Leo Sayer--- You Make Me Feel Like Napping.

12. The Temptations--- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone.

13. Abba--- Denture Queen.

14. Tony Orlando--- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall.

15. Helen Reddy--- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore.

16. Willie Nelson--- On the Commode Again

17. Leslie Gore--- It's My Procedure and I'll Cry If I Want To

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 11:19 PM | 9 comments
Friday, January 12, 2007

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Thursday, January 04, 2007

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 11:46 PM | 5 comments
Friday, December 15, 2006
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Which Reindeer Are You?
You Are Vixen



Sexy and sultry, you're the one all the other reindeer dream about.



Why You're Naughty: That fur pulling spat you got into with Dancer over Santa.



Why You're Nice: Because even when you're nice, you're still delightfully naughty!

Which of Santa's Reindeer Are You?

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 10:05 AM | 5 comments
Friday, December 08, 2006
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Friday, November 10, 2006

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Friday, October 27, 2006
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Thursday, October 19, 2006
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Friday, October 13, 2006
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Thursday, October 12, 2006


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Friday, October 06, 2006

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Thursday, September 21, 2006
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Thursday, September 14, 2006

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

I'm just waiting for my computer to come up with this sign.

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 11:00 PM | 9 comments
Friday, September 01, 2006
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Thursday, August 24, 2006
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Friday, August 11, 2006

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Thursday, August 03, 2006

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Thursday, July 27, 2006
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One false move and it's all over!

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 8:17 PM | 4 comments
Friday, July 21, 2006

That which does not kill us, only makes us stonger!

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 11:00 AM | 12 comments
Thursday, July 13, 2006

Ahhh...Reviewing the family history! Did you catch the "crocodile tears"? Will the Blog Olympics soon be history as well? Stay tuned for breaking developments!

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 9:54 PM | 5 comments
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Hmmm.....take away my food and this girl gets cranky!

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 11:01 PM | 16 comments
Friday, June 23, 2006

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Posted by Lazy Daisy at 5:34 AM | 9 comments