13 ways to be the perfect mother.....from "How Not to Turn into your Mother"
- Have a perfect genetic makeup, including a Barbie doll figure and Jennifer Aniston hair.
- Be a 24/7 ATM machine.
- Wear age-appropriate clothing.
- Get to the point of the story already!
- Do not expect presents, phone calls, or attention.
- Sign anything put in front of you without asking annoying questions.
- Never flirt with any guy under the age of seventy.
- Know in your hear of hearts that you are not cool, have never been cool, and most probably will never be cool.
- Never discuss icky personal problems.
- Always be available to cook, clean, mend, chauffeur and buy stuff for your daughter.
- Never, ever talk about your labor pains.
- Know that loving support is nice, but an American Express Gold Card is even nicer.
- Know that in addition to braces, vaccine shots, and green vegetables, all teenage daughters must have their own room, laptop, iPod, and cell phone with unlimited calling plan.
Posted by Lazy Daisy at 9:37 PM
