1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. In a hostage situation, you are most likely to be released first.

3. No one expects you to run....anywhere!

4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac!

5. There's nothing left to learn the hard way.

6. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

7. You sing along with elevator music.

8. Your eyes won't get much worse.

9. Your joints are more accurate meteorologist than the National Weather Service.

10. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

11. Your supply of brain cells are finally down to a manageable size.

12. The things you buy now won't wear out.

13. You can eat supper at 4 P.M.