When my oldest daughter was about 3 years old we moved from Montana to South Dakota. She was somewhat traumatized seeing her toys and clothing packed in boxes and moved out of the house. The concept of moving wasn't one she could grasp yet. As we got in the car she looked longingly at everything she had ever known and said, "Bye-bye house, bye-bye toys, bye- bye clothes." Even though we assured her that there would be a new house when we got to South Dakota and that she would see all of her toys and belongings, she was not convinced.

We rode for quite a long time and Becky was playing quietly in the back seat keeping her sister entertained with books and toys. I turned around and told her how pleased I was of her for being so sweet to her sister, what a good helper she was, and how proud her Daddy and I were of her for keeping sister happy on our long trip.

Becky looked at me somewhat stunned for a moment or two and then very deliberately reached over and pinched Suzy on the arm as hard as she could right in front of me so I would be sure to see her do it. Suzy immediately let out a howl of pain followed by a hurt angry, mad cry that sky rocketed to ear splitting decibels.

I quickly popped Becky on the hand still shocked by her actions. Becky's eye's began to well up with tears that spilled down her cheeks.

"Why would you pinch your sister?" I demanded. "That was so naughty of you!" "You know better than that!" I insisted.

No answer came, just big crocodile tears. Finally, in desperation, Mr. Wonderful pulled into a gas station so I could console Suzy while he dealt with the Little Miss Naughty .

While I took Suzy into the restroom Mr. Wonderful put Little Miss Naughty on his lap and asked her what was going on.

"Why would you hurt your sister right after Mom told you what a good girl you are?" he asked.

With pouty lips and quavering voice she answered, "Cause I was thinking mean thoughts about sister and mom made me feel bad by telling me how good I was."

Mr. Wonderful hugged her and told her that even grown-up have mean thoughts at time especially when they are tired and confused but it was never right to do wrong. He explained that "poor sister certainly didn't understand why she was pinched and that she must tell Suzy she was sorry and make her feel better."

What a tender conscience, to feel so bad about getting undeserved praise, that you feel that you need to be punished!

Did you ever have an experience like this? How did you handle it?

Labels: Becky, Monday memories