I've been on Weight Watchers for two weeks and you know what I've lost?

Answer: About 14 days.

I could say I lost my sense of humor and my will to live but that would definitely be "over kill".

Even Miss Chirpy couldn't get a rise from me today.

After a careful week of being obcessive complusive about drinking my water, counting my points, portion control, and weighing every time I went to the bathroom I was rewarded on the scale by gaining two pounds.

When you gain weigh at Weight Watchers they don't say anything to you. They don't even make eye contact with you. No one says, "Too many twinkies this week, huh?"

The weigh- in lady simpy records your weight and hands it to you. I think I almost would have preferred putting a Big Pink Pig Sticker on my forehead.....at least someone would have said, "Oh you poor baby, next week will be a better week for you!"


"I retain water, right before my period," I say to no one listening. Weigh-in lady looks up at me as if to say, "yeah, I've heard that one before." She smiles weakly hoping I will move on so she can weigh the person behind me.

Miss Chirpy clapped, honked her pink horn, gave out bookmarkers, and gave us words of great inspiration such as, "Don't clown around, write it down!" Also "nothing taste as good as thin feels!" I think I would have felt better if she had just said, "Sucks to be you, doesn't it?"

All I heard was, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, How could you have gained weight ? Blah,blah, blah blah.....Did you count your points? Blah, blah, blah.

I'm sure that was just old tape recordings of negative self speak going off in my head .

Maybe it didn't happen exactly that way......but it did to my way of thinking.